~ ファントム悪魔の ~

I feel like I'm making my cosplay A LOT harder on myself than I think.
=_= Considering after spending 35+ hrs on one of the pieces, I've somehow the urge to restart that piece....but I cannot afford any more loss time to do so though.

Just a few fun shots today.

I've been lacking on updating on my artworks on my deviantart and whatnot...but here's some sketches I've done today.

Sometimes I wonder, just what the fuck am I doing with my life.

An old friend of mine back in elementary school is now working his way to getting a higher position as a firefighter. He already have this certificate and just not long ago, I saw him in the line of duty. Working with the other firefighter. He's doing something with his life.

Just today I heard news about my little cousin, who's doing very good. *sigh* My little cousin is doing A LOT of things with her life...a good paying job, a car, and she's planning to teach english in Japan next year. Even though she's not a english major, it's always a childhood dream to be going to Japan. She's doing something with her life. Something progressive. Something with our childhood dreams. She's taking not just a step forward but many steps forward in life and the changes. She works hard to be where she's at now.....but I also work hard too....but not where I want to be.

Honestly, I'm quite jealous. I know I get compare to my cousins a lot, and I hate being compared to them because I know deep down they are successful with their lives...I always wonder, where the fuck am I in my life? Nothing. No changes, nothing interesting, jobless in this small town of nothing. My independence stripped of me when I was done with high school, my whole family, my parents forbid me to leave to college because I wasn't stable with my life they say....I didn't have a car....they say. It's true, I didn't have a car. Though I should've went with my gut and left this house, went to school somewhere else, experience the new things in life, meet new people, learning to stand by my own, learning to be more independent of myself, even if I've no car, I could have been on campus, take public transit, managing myself, managing the time I'm using, instead of wasting it. Some choices in life I cannot re-do. I do regret a lot of things. I could have done so much more and took those routes where I can change my life, but I've missed those chances. It's quite disheartening...and I hate myself. I dislike myself in many areas. I lack many things. I'm a flaw to myself. There's the good and the bad but I found a lot of negatives about myself. Even if a friend said I'm awesome, admired me highly, I'm happy that I can be admired, I would give thanks, but deep down I know how much I disapprove of myself. As if I deject myself in different ways. There are times I'm happy, there are times I'm mad, there is times like this that I really think to myself and what I'm doing with my life, and what the future holds. The future is not something to be predicted but how I see my future, it's slow, a slow process of changes. Don't rush they say. Well, I'm tired of waiting. Time is not waiting for anyone. It will pass on by in the blink of the eye. Yet, I lack the power to move forward. I was able to open one door, but stuck with no keys to open the next door.

I had to cancel some cosplays that I originally have had planned for the upcoming anime conventions. It's quite disheartening that I have to do so. I cannot budget enough for my travels and cosplay makings.

Cancelled Cosplays =[
Naruto
Saizou from Brave 10

AND I REALLY REALLLLYYYYYYYY don't want to give up on Zhao Yun from Dynasty Warriors for Anime Expo. (I'm having a hard time budgeting for AX, so I might have to cancel Zhao Yun, which I was supposed to be doing DW cosplay group with friends. It sucks when I've no monies!!!! WHY didn't i win the lottery.) I might have to cancel a few more cosplays as well.

But yea, been super busy lately, been working on cosplay, spent approximately 20+ hrs or so, so far. I've also only 4 weeks of school left as well, so FINALS are coming up!!!! Gah!!!! Need to focus on FINALS as well.

ONLY 32 DAYS left before Fanime Con!!!!

Since I'm on a piiiiiiinch and need monies to save up for my Fanime and AX trip! So am getting rid or some stuff! Please Check them out!

SELLING!!!
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TOYS/ETC
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Tiger and Bunny. Rock Bison Deformaster Petit Prize Figure. $15 http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y70/lolyd/531191_228092187298314_100002926038384_448359_1548967660_n.jpg

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WIGS 4 SALE
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Brown short wig. Image may be darker than actual wig. Heat Resistance. $20 http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y70/lolyd/554141_228059313968268_100002926038384_448274_340319542_n.jpg

Silver Grey Medium/Long wig. Heat Resistance. $30 http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y70/lolyd/532796_228061730634693_100002926038384_448279_1482136510_n.jpg

Short Black (Sebastian wig). Heat Resistance. $20 http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y70/lolyd/531323_228068060634060_100002926038384_448309_912617886_n.jpg

Dark Brown short wig. Heat Resistance. $20 http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y70/lolyd/558610_228086323965567_100002926038384_448351_10340706_n.jpg

Light Blue long wig. Image may be darker than actual wig. Heat Resistance. $40 http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y70/lolyd/521699_228070373967162_100002926038384_448311_13990119_n.jpg

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BOOKS 4 SALE
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COSMODE USA hard cover. Excellent condition. $20 http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y70/lolyd/536142_228100257297507_100002926038384_448376_2079026640_n.jpg

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Camera Accessories 4 SALE
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INFO: Canon EF-S 18-55mm IS Ⅱ F/3.5-5.6 Lens. Used. Good Condition. Basic Lens. A compact, lightweight design, easy to handle with lens.
http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y70/lolyd/81xlQUzJQFS_AA1500_.jpg
Asking price - $130
Shipping - $10 (ship within US will include tracking)
*****SELLING JUST THE LENS, NOT CAMERA.****
Includes:
-NO ORIGINAL BOX.
-THE LENS (look above for INFO)
-58mm DHD UV Filter
- 1 year Subscription DIGITAL PHOTO MAGAZINE.

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SHIPPING 4 WIGS/BOOKS/ETC
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Ship flat rate FREE within US.

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PAYMENT Method
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**Only accept Paypal.**

**NO RETURNS or REFUND**

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**PM/MSG me if interested and or more question.**